1. |
Lost My Shoes
02:18
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Snitches get stitches and dead men tell no tales we'll burn that bridge when we come to it if all else fails plagiarise and bastardise cross my heart and hope to die it's not rocket surgery but then again it's not up to me one way to go but the driver doesn't know which way's up and which way's down he just keeps driving round and round scrapes and japes and laughs and jaffs we love a bit of hijinks scrapes and japes and laughs and jaffs we love a bit a of mischief haven't you heard you can't polish a turd but you can roll it in glitter boredom I'm bored.
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2. |
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Dear sir/madam I'm writing to you with the chance to grow your business in a direction that you don't want to but you really don't want to miss this I can put you on Google's top ranking which will attract more business dear sir/madam I promise you you really don't want to miss this opportunity of a lifetime we're working in conjunction with a company totally different to yours but I draw similarities because our market research shows networking events and sponsorship deals have helped our corporate partners and we can put you straight in touch with other likeminded professionals opportunity of a lifetime if you want it drop me a line quit emailing me with your bullshit I never signed up for this I don't understand what it is that you want can you take me off the list opportunity of a lifetime kindly acknowledge receipt.
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3. |
Maximum Salt & Vinegar
01:54
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Rolling ramble this preamble's dripping draining through the grates oozing bruising let's go cruising filled with flaws and filled with hate absolutely and astutely soaked in slime and caked in muck through the night and out of sight the filthy fuzz does what the fuck we wanna do we pray on you biding our time we lie in wait for unsuspecting ne'er do wells to drag down to the foulest fate race 'em chase 'em through the sewer this hell will soon defile the pure cuff 'em chuck 'em in stinking cells the shit drips down the piss as well beat them treat them like these walls drenched in sludge and pus and boils maim 'em chain 'em up like dogs no one will ever read their blogs Sewer Cops come out to play we win you lose you will decay.
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4. |
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Stop that check yourself you're fucking up my mental health I have got an angle grinder and I'll be your child minder no I won't use it no I won't lose it I'll be on my best behaviour I took a fork to a knife fight I got it wrong but it felt so right I took a knife to a spoon race and ended up with egg all over my face if it's buy one and get one free can I just get one for half the price the maths make sense I ran the numbers I triple checked them twice with my accountant book keeper and financier but they're all me so they might be biased I hope that's clear so let's get famous fast and bulbous money to made there's money to be made target market looking for a bargain money to made there's money to be made with wax crayons and masking tape there's money to be made there's money to be made illegal tender returned to sender in jail by the end of the day.
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5. |
Shitbird Freeberg
03:21
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I took these words straight from a horse's mouth I had no clue what that horse was going on about there's neigh chance there's neigh way that anyone will understand a single thing it has to say so move along these are not the droids you're looking for ding dong the wicked witch is dead quit that pack it in it's fucking irritating and it's starting to wear thin all chewed up all spat out rotten Sunday dinner you can't keep down chew spit out this is starting to wear thin it's fucking irritating and I'm sick of it I heard the doctor's orders but ignored them nonetheless who the fuck is he to put my will power to the test so I just keep on keeping on tunnel vision every day but the light that's in the tunnel is an oncoming train.
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6. |
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This is not a test you are under arrest public nuisance and disturbance all of the attempts like extortion fraud and treason arson and incitement conspiracy and forgery no right to remain silent but deadly triumphant return to the scene of the grime cops are shit but we are worse you're guilty of all the above and all the below mayhem riot libel sedition and assault battery and larceny theft contempt of court murder.
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